The Fecal Facial

Think you’ve heard everything when it comes to what some women will do for beauty and eternal youth? Not until you’ve heard about the bird poop solution.

In Japan, geishas have apparently been tightening their pores with Nightengale droppings, for centuries. Now a spa in New York City has started offering to pack on the poo, which has had its bacteria removed in a heating process.  (As my Grandfather used to say, you can eat a turd if you boil the shit out of it!)  Women are paying big bucks to get avian crap slapped on their visages, in hopes of looking younger. 

So how does it smell to have bird pucky layered so close to your nasal cavity?  Like hay, apparently.  Not poopy at all.  So they say.  I’m not about to find out, thank you.

I suppose injections and cuts are a lot worse than ladling birdy guano on your mug but the idea of it is just a little more than I could stomach.  Give me a good old fashioned mud pack.  Or better yet, give me my Biore cleanser and a mild toner.  Somehow I don’t think the fountain of youth can be found in the poop on a fountain.  

(This blog also appears at 680news.com)