Go Away, Caller

Posted By Lisa

This is a first.  Jehovah’s Witnesses made a thinly veiled telemarketing call to me yesterday.  Some woman from a blocked number left a message, inviting me to a local Kingdom Hall.  Why me?  What in the name of everything holy would lead anyone to believe that I would be even a little bit interested in such a pursuit?  I don’t subscribe to anything remotely religious.  Perhaps they’re just casting a wide net and hoping for the best.  At least they’re not at my door.

I tend not to answer calls that are blocked or from 800 numbers, just because I’ve been on the planet more than five minutes and can guess it’s not likely someone I want to talk to.  So when I looked back on the call display and found the JW’s number was blocked, I wasn’t surprised.  But it was a strange call to receive. 

Later in the day, I picked up without checking the call display and heard that delay followed by the sound of a noisy call centre – the hallmarks of a telemarketer.  This guy was so obviously reading that I felt a bit sorry for him. I listened to the first part of his script. He used some interesting tactics, including a blatant lie that we had spoken before and I had donated before!  I’m in favour of organ donations but I don’t see how giving money to an organization promoting it (when the government does the exact same thing, also with my money) is going to help the cause. When he took a breath I wished him a good day and he wished me one back before I hung up.

When I was in England a couple of weeks ago, I heard about what may be the most brilliant response to a window sales phone call.  The homeowner tells the caller that his house has no windows because it’s underground.  ”I’ve got no need for windows!  We enter through a trap door and there’s no glass!” 

Another pal’s husband likes to put telemarketers on hold for “just a minute” and then walk away.  I prefer to be honest and tell them I’m not interested.  If they persist, I tell them I’m going to hang up and I do.  They’re just trying to do a job. An annoying job, but a job just the same.  And I have the power to check my call display and let the darn thing ring into oblivion!

Apr 22nd, 2008

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