Celebrity Baby Bandwagon – All Aboarrrrrd!
They went crazy for kaballah and now those wacky celebrities are at it again. Ladies and gentlemen welcome to the newest celebrity craze – Shopping For Orphans!
Yes, stars who have too much money and time on their hands are embarking on a new and exciting adventure. They’re traveling to far off lands and meeting hundreds of sad, little, hungry people so they can choose one lucky contestant to bring home and call their own.
Meg Ryan has done it. Even the woman whose husband left her for Tori Spelling has done it. Angelina Jolie made it hip and cool to have a rainbow family, bought and paid for from some of the poorest countries in the world. Why, when she gave birth to her own child she even sequestered herself in a third world nation, surrounded by bodyguards and imported foods, while the little starving darlings kept at bay by the rifles of government soldiers hoped that she would pluck one of them from their wretched lives to join the Jolie-Pitt traveling circus. But it was not to be. Off they went to another distant land – Hollywood – leaving Madonna to make the next mercy mission to an African nation to see their product.
Now that the Material Mama has selected her little trophy boy, she is running into some snags with the adoption. But how can that be? She is, after all, Madonna, the woman who speaks so eloquently about the world’s ills from the comfort of one of her many mansions. At least Angelina Jolie does some actual good in the world by giving to charity 40 percent of her salary, each and every time she makes a film.
Adoption as a concept is a beautiful thing. But why adopt at home? That’s so last century. Instead, fly over the poorest nations in the world and be sure to wave. Choose one of those struggling, starving countries via the “eeny meenie miney moe” method and shop for your very own new son or daughter. Put on your best pitying look for the hundreds of desperate little ones you do not choose because they don’t have that “it” factor. Dress the one you select in designer clothes and ignore the fact that a fraction of your wealth could provide clean water and food for thousands. Plan a round of talk show visits to explain how wonderful you are for adding a little foreign orphan to your family. They’re the must-have accessories this fall.
