Archive for April, 2006
Keef Bangs His Coconut
OK class, what have we learned today about safety from our special guest, Keith Richards? That you shouldn’t drink and climb a palm tree. You could fall out of it and bonk your rock and roll head or break one of your brittle old bones. Then your 62 year old ass will end up in [...]
Read More..>>Not The King
As a stand-up comedy aficionado of sorts, I feel well qualified to wonder who in the heck decided Mike MacDonald was the “King of Canadian Comedy”. That’s like calling The Air Farce our funniest show, which it ain’t. If MacDonald was funny at one time, he has been eclipsed by dozens of other comics. A [...]
Read More..>>To Say Gay Is OK
I’m not sure how to define this: political correctness incorrectly defined?
Yesterday, a colleague asked me why I thought Rosie O’Donnell was being added to The View, to replace Meredith Viera, who’s replacing Katie Couric on the Today Show. “Don’t they already have a comedienne, that Joy woman?”, he asked.
“Rosie’s more than a comic”, I replied. [...]
Bing Bong, Dr. Boobie Calling
A 76 year old man in Florida went door to door claiming to be a Dr. offering free breast exams. Two thirty-something women took him up on it and were fondled and sexually assaulted. One older woman submitted to a genital exam but became suspicious when the “doctor” didn’t put on gloves. I have only [...]
Read More..>>Hey, Sorry!
I have recently discovered the power of a well-placed “sorry”.
When you’re in traffic and some idiot cuts you off, it’s not just the cutting off that causes your blood pressure to soar but it’s also the lack of an obvious sign that the person knows they’ve done anything wrong. They might be dying of embarrassment [...]
Invisible Idiots
I’m picking up on the leading edge of a disturbing trend in our fair city. Hence it behooves me to dust off the words “hence” and “behooves” and warn you about this trend. Apparently, many residents of Toronto are losing their ability to turn invisible.
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