How To Do White Right
Once it gets out, a little fashion fact about white clothing will revolutionize the fashion industry! Money back if you’re not completely satisfied. Never be a Glamour “don’t” again. I’m surprised that this tidbit hasn’t become as ubiquitous as, say, the so-called rule about not wearing white after Labour Day. By the way, supermodel Kathy Ireland claims that the Labour Day white rule no longer holds, but I’m not sure whether to believe her. She designs furniture and rugs these days. Maybe she’s out of the fashion loop? But I digress. So few women seem to know this truth: white underwear should never be worn under white summer garments.
But what, pray tell, should we wear, Lisa? We don’t want VP’s (visible panty lines) or any other obvious signs below the fabric that underwear even exists. Well, that’s exactly what you’ll get with a white undie of any type. It creates an obvious line to where the panty ends and the flesh begins. A white thong acts like an arrow pointing down your coinslot. If that’s the look you’re going for well, you go girl. Me? I like a little more modesty and that’s achieved with nude or flesh-coloured undergarments. They are magical at creating a seamless look when worn under white.
I thought of this at a wedding yesterday, when I saw two different women in very light coloured, tight dresses and white underwear. Everything about the underwear was on display: the texture, size (too small!) and if I had looked closely, I probably could have read the brand label. It was, in a word, hideous. And if you think I’m only being catty, let me just say that Wray leaned over to me after one of the women wandered past us and whispered, “something is definitely wrong there”. I replied, “She just needs a…” and before I could finish my sentence Wray said, “housecoat?” We giggled. What I was going to say was a slip, a nude-coloured one. I was embarrassed for her because she was embarrassing herself and didn’t even know it. Heads turned, but for the wrong reasons. She had taken a lot of time with her hair, nails, make-up and to pick out shoes. She had a very pretty dress on, but she hadn’t given enough thought to her under-things and the whole look was basically ruined.
It works the same with T-shirts and blouses. A white bra under a white T-shirt is totally obvious. A nude-coloured one is not. A female colleague recently took me aside, and in a hushed tone reserved for drug deals asked through clenched teeth, “so, how come I can’t see panty lines with those white pants?” Flesh-coloured, baby. I’m flesh-coloured all the way.
